He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
