Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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