he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
