whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
