I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
