If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
