this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
ok first of all what the fuck
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
