ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
