I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
