I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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