i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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