They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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