What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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