there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
