One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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