she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
