I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
