Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
