great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
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Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
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Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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