We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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