No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
