he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
