I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
