Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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