hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
