ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
