based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
