he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
