Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We were destined to go to rehab together
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
