girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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