everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
