I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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