Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
