if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
