Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
