I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
