Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
