i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
