her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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