First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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