we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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