is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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