you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
