I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
