i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
