you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
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He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.