So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex