Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
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Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
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he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree