Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize