I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
