That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
