another moral hangover. fuck.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
