hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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