if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize