i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize