Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I look excited, but its just a facade.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
